Fine People of the Regis Community,

We have made it to September, and the first few weeks of school have been fantastic! After a summer filled with surprises (like a hurricane and accompanying power outage) and hard work to prepare for this academic year (like a major renovation of the Milestones Building), it is great to see the boys back on campus and be reminded of why we are all here. I have enjoyed seeing many of you at Parent Nights, Welcome Back Coffees, and at Masses, and as I enter my third year at Regis, I feel very positive about the year to come.

As I have shared with the faculty and staff, with your sons, and with you, our focus this year will be on Goal II, a deep respect for intellectual values. Once upon a time, when I was serving as the Upper School Academic Dean at our Sacred Heart school in New York City, I remember this being my favorite Goal, and I recall thinking that the most important word in the text of the Goal was “intellectual.” I was, after all, an Academic Dean, charged with oversight of the school’s curriculum and pedagogy, not to mention the academic journeys of over 200 high school girls. Intellectualism, as I saw it, was really part of my job description.

Years later, I reflect on this Goal differently, and I have come to feel that the most important term in the wording of this Goal is actually “respect.” Intellect—what we know or think and/or our capacity to know or think it—can be easy. It is when others know, think, or believe differently when a challenge is introduced. If intellect can be easy, it is safe to say that “respect” can be very hard. To respect the opinion or belief of someone with whom we fundamentally disagree is no easy task.

But I think there is guidance in how to make respect easier if we look at the root of the word. (I am a Latin teacher by training, so looking at Latin roots is often my go-to technique!) This English word comes from the Latin verb “respectare,” which is itself a combination of two Latin elements. The first is the verb “spectare,” which means to look. The second is the prefix “re-,” which means “again.” So to “respect” really means “to take a second look.” It means to engage in a conversation with a willingness to re-evaluate one’s own personally held beliefs, opinions, and convictions. After such re-evaluation, your opinion may change, or it may not, but one will have at least come to understand how someone else can think or believe differently.

Often, we speak to ensure that others understand us, but struggle to truly hear others when they are sharing points of view. On the flipside, we often listen to prepare a response or defense, rather than listening to develop understanding. St. Francis of Assisi had this right; his famous prayer reads: “O Master grant that I may never seek…to be understood so much as to understand.” The fact that St. Francis felt it necessary to pray for this kind of resolve is perhaps indicative of the fact that it is not always easy.

Let’s go back to the word “intellectual.” This comes from the Latin verb “intellegere,” which means “to understand.” Again, this is a combination of two other Latin elements: the verb “legere,” which means “to read,” and the preposition “inter,” which means “between.” Literally, to understand is to “read between the lines.” “Intellectual values,” as it turns out, is a phrase not about a collection of knowledge, facts, or opinions; it is a phrase that describes a process of reaching understanding.

To respect and to understand—defined like this as processes rather than more traditionally as single actions—are ultimately how we can demonstrate love. I have often thought that to love is relatively easy, but to respect can be much harder. As evidence, I submit that I think each of us has that one uncle we see at the Thanksgiving dinner table whom we know we love, but we have a hard time respecting because of the crazy things he says. But how loving are we if we fail to take a second look or read between the lines in an effort to understand his point of view, even if it does not change ours?

So how do we do all of this? The Society of the Sacred Heart has an answer, and it’s called “The Sacred Heart Way.” Below is a handy graphic (complete with some Regis branding) that outlines the process:

Often, when we encounter viewpoints that are not our own, we jump right to the final two steps; we decide, and we act. We are tempted to feel in our gut that this person is wrong, and we tell him or her so and why. Remember, though, the Prayer of St. Francis: “O Master grant that I may never seek…to be understood so much as to understand.” If we first pause, reflect, and discern, we are seeking to understand, and we honor the inherent dignity of our neighbor before we get to the point of decision and action. This is love, and it is the Sacred Heart Way.

But this is not just a concept that some brilliant nuns turned into a pretty graphic. Behind this, there are Biblical values. Jesus tells us in the Gospel of John that we are to love one another as He has loved us. We are also told in the Gospel of Mark to love God with all of our heart, soul, mind, and strength—and to love our neighbor as ourselves. Let’s apply this—which the Gospel of Mark tells us is the greatest of all the commandments—to the five-step process of the Sacred Heart Way, beginning at the end. If loving God is our ultimate objective, the action we must take is to love our neighbor. In order to love our neighbor, we must decide to respect our neighbor. To respect our neighbor, we must understand him or her, which is an act of discernment. To understand our neighbor, we must listen, which requires reflection. And to listen to our neighbor, we must pause.

So, let’s live the Sacred Heart Way, making this a year of respect (not just for intellectual values, but for one another), understanding, and ultimately love. If we can do this, we ultimately demonstrate our love for God.