As I was driving after school to Ye Olde H-E-B last week, a favorite song of mine came on. It was “The Boys Are Back in Town” by Thin Lizzy, and I hadn’t heard it in a while. Further, I certainly hadn’t ever reflected upon it before as someone who now leads a school for boys. On its surface, it seems to be about having fun and about boys being spirited humans who deserve a warm welcome upon re-entry to “town,” which is likely Dublin, Ireland, where the band was formed in 1969. As I listened closer to the lyrics and thought about some challenging statistics I heard about boys at a conference I attended this summer, I began to think differently about how the song might be best interpreted.

The song begins innocently enough with the following lyrics:

Guess who just got back today?
Them wild-eyed boys that had been away.
Haven’t changed, had much to say
But man, I still think them cats are crazy.

Descriptors for boys like “wild-eyed” and “crazy” certainly resonate with me as the father of three boys; I’ve always said my house regularly sounds like there’s a thunderstorm happening. My sister has three girls, and her house is generally much quieter than mine. Okay, so boys can be more animated or loud than girls. That’s fine. And then comes this line:

Spread the word around,
Guess who’s back in town.
Just spread the word around.
Friday night they’ll be dressed to kill,
Down at Dino’s Bar’n’Grill.
The drink will flow and blood will spill
And if the boys wanna fight, you better let ’em.

Well, this is certainly a darker turn. Maybe the fact that “the boys are back in town” is not something that is universally celebrated. After all, it seems that there will be drink and blood flowing and spilling, perhaps in equal measure. And apparently, no one has the ability or opportunity to stop these boys from fighting. 

All of this got me thinking, naturally, about boy-centered education and the benefits it might have. The traditional coeducational model for education in the United States is not designed with the best interests of boys in mind. The vast majority of teachers at both public and private schools have had some training provided via the education department at universities all over the United States. In training teachers, such programs must, on some level, prepare future teachers for what might be termed a “normal” or “average” classroom environment. Sure, there are programs aimed at different ends of the educational spectrum, inclusive of special education programming and gifted-and-talented environments. But, for the most part, the average American teacher has been trained to teach to a kind of midpoint, and that midpoint is a neurotypical, academically average American girl. 

Think about it: the neurotypical, academically average girl I mention will sit still in neat little rows, keep their arms and legs inside the ride at all times, remain quiet when asked, take notes based on what a teacher says or writes on the board, and absorbs information upon its first mention. She can maintain attention for the entirety of an academic period without the need for movement or much interaction. 

Now think about your sons…

Is this who they are? How long can they sit in a neat little row? Do they ever keep their arms and legs inside the ride? Can they remain quiet? Do they respond with complacency to what has been asked of them? 

Suffice it to say, a traditional coeducational classroom is not suited for who boys are. They can’t sit still, not because they have behavioral problems, but because movement is something that boys require. Can they keep their hands to themselves? Spend fifteen minutes at my house, and you’ll have your answer. Are they prone to unrequested verbal expression? I think so. 

There’s a line from the conference that really resonated with me. The speaker said something to effect of: “If we truly want boys to succeed, we need to stop treating them like dysfunctional girls.” Boys don’t fidget because they want to or even because of a diagnosis like ADHD (though I am not making the claim that ADHD isn’t real—like everything, fidgeting or not sitting still exists on a spectrum.). The norm for boys is to be on the move. Scientific studies suggest that physical touch—or not keeping arms and legs inside the ride—is a key component of how boys interact with their peers. Impulsivity amongst boys is higher than it is in girls. If you need proof of this, just ask my wife. 

The challenge is that orienting a classroom towards the success of boys would create an environment that would not allow girls to thrive. The solution is clear: to differentiate the educational experience by gender, which is best accomplished in single-gender schools. 

What happens when we don’t is staggering. According to studies, for every 100 girls who need to repeat kindergarten, there are 145 boys. For every 100 girls whose kindergarten entry is delayed, there are 139 boys. For every 100 girls in grades six through twelve who are suspended from a public school, there are 195 boys—almost double, while for every 100 girls expelled, there are 223 boys—over double. I mentioned ADHD before; for every 100 girls diagnosed between the ages of four and seventeen, there are 238 boys diagnosed. For every 100 girls who are classified as having “emotional disturbance,” there are 255 boys. You get the point. 

But what does this do to educational outcomes? For every 100 college-bound girls who are in the top 10% of their class, there are only 79 boys. For every 100 college-bound girls who graduate with an A or A+ average, there are only 65 boys. And in 2020, for every 100 girls who took an AP course in any discipline, there were only 79 boys. 

Alright, so how does this translate into post-college life and the workplace? For every 100 women who are enrolled in graduate school of any kind, there are only 68 men, and for every 100 women with graduate degrees who are not in the labor force, there are 114 men. That’s compounded by the fact that men have lesser educational attainment to begin with, on average. For every 100 women with a master’s degree, there are only 61 men; the statistic for doctoral degrees is only slightly better, with 80 males for every 100 females holding one. 

If one follows this logic to even more drastic places, for every 100 women who use drugs, there are 180 men, and for every 100 women with an alcohol use disorder, there are 175 men. For every 100 women in a local jail, there are 614 men, and for every 100 women in state or federal prison, there are 1,225 men. 

Could these last groups of statistics related to lower male educational attainment and employment and higher male substance abuse and incarceration relate to failings in the American educational system? Absolutely. Can I prove that beyond a reasonable doubt? No, but the correlation is a little shocking. 

To go back to Thin Lizzy for a moment, Phil Lynott, the lead singer and bassist for the band, while popular in school, struggled academically and did not graduate from college despite aspirations of becoming an engineer. While he achieved success as a musician, he developed addictions to drugs and alcohol, in part due to feelings of inadequacy, and he died at the age of 36 in January 1986, succumbing to these addictions. As for the song “The Boys Are Back in Town,” for all I used to think of the song as a warm welcome for the “boys” in question, it’s worth noting it is included on the album Jailbreak, which included a popular song of the same title. Phil Lynott had learned all too well that, somehow, boys were inherently “bad.” In short, Phil Lynott is an example of everything outlined in the statistics above. 

We run a huge risk in identifying boys as “bad” because we expect them to behave like girls. A boys’ school is a great solution to this challenge. What if we could acknowledge boys as uniquely who they are, as defined by their brain chemistry, and nourish them educationally in the ways in which they need to be nourished? What if we allowed them to move as they needed to without identifying them as non-compliant? What if we embraced the ways in which boys learn and need to learn and design school in a way that harnesses this for good and in a way that builds self-esteem rather than shatters it? 

This is the unique opportunity of a Regis education. We tailor the educational experience in a way that celebrates boys. In doing so, my hope is that for the scholars and gentlemen of The Regis School of the Sacred Heart, when we sing “The Boys Are Back in Town,” we are all able to interpret it as that warm welcome that I always thought it was supposed to convey.